


this happiness is my certainty

by teaspoonery (quodpersortem)



Category: The Pacific (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, First Time, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Pre-War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-18 04:18:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13092255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quodpersortem/pseuds/teaspoonery
Summary: (livejournal re-post fromhere; mine)rating: r / nc-17word count: 1 270the pebble seems to hover above the water for a while, then hits the surface a couple of times before sinking to the bottomdate: 2010-07-11





	this happiness is my certainty

  
“Will you get ice cream once you’re there?” Eugene asks Sid, looking up at him from where he is sitting in the grass.   
  
“Why would I get ice cream?” Sid replies around the stick of his lollypop, throwing another pebble to the water. It seems to hover above it for a while, then hits the surface a couple of times before sinking to the bottom.  
  
“I don’t know,” Eugene shrugs, “they said the airborne gets ice cream before going off to fight.”  
  
“Forget the airborne,” Sid says, “I’m with the Marines.” Then he walks over to Eugene, sits down in the grass next to him. When he pulls the candy out of his mouth with a pop he must know Eugene is staring at it, at his mouth, at the lollypop. “Look,” Sid sighs, averting his eyes, “I don’t know either, okay? I just wish we could go together, that’s all. Perhaps we’ll get ice cream, perhaps we get nothing. We get war, that’s for sure, and that’s why I  _joined_  in the first place. Not ice cream.”  
  
“I don’t want you to leave without me,” Eugene blurted out. “My father says the heart murmur’s still there but I don’t believe him. If you wait a month, perhaps I could enlist-”  
  
“I already signed up, Gene,” Sid interrupts, smiling wryly, “I have to go, meet my responsibilities.”   
  
They sit in the grass like that for a while. It’s another two weeks before Sid is going to leave, but it’s pending upon them already, the idea of war strange and unfamiliar even if they both know veterans who fought in the Great War.   
  
“I can’t believe it,” Eugene says eventually, quietly, “my best friend goes off to war, and I can’t even come along.”  
  
“Just.. quit talking about it, will you?” Sid tells him. “I’m still here for now. Okay?”  
  
“Yeah, yeah,” Eugene replies. “I’ll miss you though, I guess.”  
  
The silences that fall are growing longer and more oppressive, not only with the forebode of war but also with words that  _have_  to be said but aren’t spoken. Sid finishes the lollypop, throws away the stick it was on. The grass is high, the sky a cloudless blue, the sun is warm but not uncomfortably so. Eugene has shoes on, Sid is barefoot, his shirt riding up a little so a slither of stomach shows and Eugene is looking at it. Sid knows it, and the distance between them is a foot, a foot and a half at most, and  _this_ , this moment, has been sneaking up on them for years but they are too afraid, too scared to make a move.  
  
The both of them are fumbling now, hands threading through grass and through hair, plucking at invisible loose threads of trousers. Hearts are beating fast and their hand palms are clammy and what’s worst of all, the very worst, is that they are well aware of the other’s fears. They know this is the way they feel about each other because they’re so close already, such close friends, but Eugene doesn’t dare making the first move because this is a man, Sid doesn’t dare for the same reason.  
  
And then there’s the eye contact, after all the avoidance. It’s going to happen, Sid can feel it in the pit of his stomach, Eugene thinks ‘ _this is it_ ’ and it’s his first kiss. It’s inevitable how they lean in even closer, how their breaths start to mingle – Sid’s smells of cherry lollypop, Eugene’s of the vanilla ice cream they had in town, earlier.  
  
Sid closes the gap, pushing his lips gently against Eugene’s. They keep still like that for a second, two seconds, before they realize that yes they are doing this now, and yes they might as well keep going and do this properly. There is no real reason to turn back.  
  
The younger man opens his mouth a little, swipes a tongue along Gene’s lips until he opens them. The kiss deepens, grows more desperate, hungry. Sid gently pushes Gene down with a hand on his chest, down into the grass so they are laying half atop of each other - amidst the blossoming green. Eugene pulls Sid closer, his hands on his neck, caressing and then moving lower to his sides. Sid has a hand splayed out on Eugene’s stomach, thumb rubbing gentle circles, his other used to brace himself so he won’t fall over Eugene.  
  
They shift a little, repositioning, then Sid is laying atop of Eugene and their hips start making rocking motions and there’s growing hardness in their pants. The sounds of kissing, of tongues sliding past one another and teeth clacking together starts to get interspersed with soft groans, helpless sounds escaping from somewhere deep within.  
  
There’s hesitation, neither of them very experienced at all, but then Sid sits up and pulls down his zip, watches Eugene fumble with his. Then they’re quiet for a while, while Sid stares at Eugene laying in the grass, cock out, hard and flushed and red and almost matching the blush on his cheeks. Swallowing dryly. Eugene stares back at Sid, legs spread, grass stains on his knees, his hand loosely encircling his cock while he starts jerking himself off, slowly, while he watches Eugene mimic him.  
  
For two minutes, maybe, time seems to slow down. They watch each other like that, lips kiss-swollen, hands slowly jerking themselves off, before Eugene hoarsely whispers “come here” and Sid obeys.  
  
It’s slow, awkward, it’s vaguely embarrassing, but it’s good too once they get back to kissing, once Sid settles atop Eugene with their cocks rutting against one another.  
  
The movements are short and jerky, their mouths stay in contact and Sid brings his hand down, encircling the both of them, moving them together as Eugene keeps his hands in Sid’s neck. Their teeth keep clashing, their faces are flushed, bodies are flushed, they’re trembling and sweaty and wearing too much clothes and yet not enough to keep themselves from doing this. And it keeps on going, the kisses, the rutting, and it keeps on building in their stomachs, the anticipation, the whatever it may be, because neither of them have experienced this before. Then Sid breaks the kiss and buries his head in Eugene’s neck, his hand squeezing their cocks together, he trashes about wildly and then comes all over his hand, over Eugene’s dick, over their stomachs.  
  
Sid relaxes for a moment, then pushes himself up so there’s more space between the two of them. Eugene thinks he might be leaving, but then he returns his hand to Eugene’s dick, strokes quick and furious and slick with his own come and Gene’s precome. His hands are trembling because of the effort of before but he manages and continues and then Eugene cries out, grabs Sid’s arms and comes promptly over his hand as well, adding to the mess.   
  
After this, Sid falls into the grass next to Eugene, laughing, and Eugene starts laughing too. Like that they lay in the grass, still half naked, feeling euphoric at what they’ve just done even if it’s filthy (and good) and nasty (and to be repeated). They kiss once more, then get dressed.  
  
And it’s good, it’s an ode to what was their friendship. It’s a good way of saying goodbye, even if they’ll see each other again – it’s good to have gotten this out of their systems. And if they go home and feel good about this and think of the other regularly -- it’s okay, because what’s the difference between loving one or another?


End file.
